After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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