Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
