Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
