Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
