I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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