hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
