This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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