went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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