I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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