I showed him my bush... on skype.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
