I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
