i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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