Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just want nice things and good sex
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
