Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize