I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
