Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
