kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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