Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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