It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
