You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
