OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize