i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
