i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
