I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
