After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
