And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
