I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
