I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize