I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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