I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i will never coherently bang her
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
