Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize