Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
