I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
