How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think a kid would responsible me up
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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