PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I had to cum in my sink.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
