I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is it because I queefed?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
