he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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