Can Purell be used as lube?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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