Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
