Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
