they need to just BURY HIM!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize