We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
