Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Non-Jews are for practice
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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