Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
