On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize