This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
