I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
