I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Welp...herpes.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
