I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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