I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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