I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Gay?
German.
Pity.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
