Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize