Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
