Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
