Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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