so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
