she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
