you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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